I have a lot to say about this book but It’s the middle of the night and I’m exhausted right now so right now I’m just going to say that this book is going to help so many young girls that grew up in religious situations and this story was absolutely beautiful and I can’t wait for the rest of the world to read it. Full review to come in the next couple of days!

Full review:

When I heard Erin had written a book about Meg after meeting her in More Than Maybe, I could not wait to get my hands on a copy! I was lucky enough to receive and arc from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review and let me tell you, I have so much to say about this beautiful book. The journeys that both Meg and Micah went on throughout this story was as much heartbreaking as it was uplifting. I could easily read dozens more books about these two.

I’m going to start off with the heaviest part of the book. Obviously a big aspect of the story is religion and each of the characters relationship with it. I grew up in church and while I have a lot of really great memories from it, the religious trauma that comes from being raised in a church is nearly impossible to escape. I think it’s especially difficult for girls that grow up in church because we’re told our entire lives that it’s our responsibility to be modest as to not tempt anyone, to stamp down our feelings and be submissive, to protect our virtue because it’s the most precious thing we have and once it’s gone, you’re ruined. This leads to so many problems in adulthood when we’re trying to get out of that head space, it turns into fear and disgust for yourself and your body. I was lucky enough to not grow up in a conservative household so I didn’t have to deal with the same things at home as Meg did. It broke my heart anytime Meg would question if she was worthy of God’s love after she initiated any type of physical contact with Micah. Not to mention she believed that their relationship wouldn’t “be blessed” if they didn’t uphold the churches standards. She would also apologize profusely anytime she acted on an impulse it was her responsibility to make sure she didn’t tempt Micah. I think one of the worst things about church is the different ways that girls and boys are taught growing up and this is one of the main reasons. Micah was always really great at helping Meg deal with the self hatred she felt in these moments and I loved that about their relationship.

On the other side, Micah had completely different religious trauma. The way his church treated him and his family after his dad went to prison was awful. Church is supposed to be a place with a community that takes care of you when you fall on hard times but instead they ostracized their family for decisions his dad made. Thankfully it didn’t make him lose his faith bu it did push him away from church and that’s really sad. Personally, like Micah, I’ve come to the conclusion that church and organized religion aren’t for me. I’ve always come out of it feeling worse about myself than I did going in and I’ve always believed that faith should be something that makes you feel good not bad. Even though I’ve figured out that organized religion is not for me, I never stopped having faith. I love God and while my beliefs and ideas change and evolve, my love for him never wavers. As someone that’s dealt with mental illness my entire life, I have to believe that there’s a purpose and that’s what my faith is for me. My issue with church is that every one I’ve ever gone to has ingrained in me that if I just trusted God enough, I wouldn’t feel the way I do. It’s taken me a long time to lose the mindset that my anxiety and depression make me weak in the eyes of Go and while I’m in a much better place now, it’s going to be something I struggle with for the rest of my life.

My favorite thing about this book was the characters. First, both Meg and Micah were perfect lead characters. They each had their individual storyline that were moving and important while they also had their journey together. I love book couples that meet and you just know they’re soulmates and were meant to find each other and that’s exactly how they are. I also loved getting to see more of Vada and Luke. I adored their relationship and Vada’s friendship with Meg so getting more of them in this was so fun! James and Betty were exactly the family that Meg needed when this story started and James was a great sounding board for Micah. Last but certainly not least, Duke. I would die for Duke. He is an absolute precious human being that deserves everything good in the world. I need to know more about his life and his journey in the future.

One of my favorite things about each of Erin’s books is how music always plays an important part in the characters stories. As someone that’s very driven by music, I always connect so deeply to this aspect of the stories & I love it. I’m going to stop rambling now and just say that this is a book I’m going to be recommending to everyone forever. I think it’s going to help so many people going through religious trauma & need to know that they’re not alone. Please pick up this book when it’s released in September, you won’t regret it.

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