Little Fish

"OK, this is number one on my top 20 book list of 2024. Casey Plett is the present and future of trans literary fiction. The protagonist is a trans woman going through some ****. And the last 2 months of her year she loses a grandmother, finds out that her grandfather was gay, loses a best friend, goes through a lot of trauma and has to deal with the ******* worst of winter because she lives in Winnipeg which is basically like living in the arctic! Like what the ****? lol This quote makes me feel so much, My best friend is dead. My best friend killed herself. I’m getting laid off and I’m doing tricks again and I’m scared a thing that happened to my friend is going to happen to me. But I’m making money. I’m almost certainly making more money than you. A man did something to me in an alley weeks ago, and I’m burying it because too much else has happened. Your father might’ve been a woman, but I can never tell you that, ever, ever. I don’t want to kill myself, but I don’t know if I want to live either. I’m taking new hormones and I like my boobs better and it’s made me calmer and less angry, and they might also kill me faster. Maybe. No one really knows. My best friend is dead. Every man I like and am attracted to would never love me, ever. Every man who thinks they like me is either an awful creep or is paying for the privilege and sometimes both. More and more, I feel like life is something that’s just happening to me. My choices don’t feel like choices at all. It’s like they’re things that have been decided and I just react to them the way anybody would. The older I get, the more life feels like a blank, gauzy haze where every direction is just the same thing. It seems like other people have this way of pushing back against things in their life they don’t like, and I just don’t have that. Doing tricks the second time is harder. I think sex work is work like anything else, but there isn’t agency the way the smiley ones say there is. I feel like it was all predetermined and inevitable and it was silly to think I could ever stop. I feel that way like I feel about the fact your grandpa had to be a farmer and your dad had to be a man. I could never tell you this, nor could I tell you that I’m safer than you think, being white and working indoors. I don’t mind I could never tell you any of this. Could I get a different job? I don’t know. Jobs never worked out for me, except for the one I’m about to get laid off from. I’m always either too much of a goon or they don’t like that I’m trans. What would my life be like if only one of those things were true? I can’t tell you any of this. I know I can’t. But I don’t think my life is bad. It’s funny—does all this stuff seem dark to you? Even though you’re no stranger to hardship. I don’t feel like my life is bad. I have friends I can trust; I have a good house; if I feel weird about a trick, I don’t have to take it. Yet. I feel hopeless and powerless, but I’m genuinely grateful. That’s a true thing. I don’t know if you’d understand that. Maybe you would. What can I tell you about my life? Last night at my friend’s funeral, I hooked up with a girl for the first time in years. It was hot and sweet, it was so nice. But you know what, Dad, I barely remember it. I only remember patches, bits and pieces, I got so ******* dru— The complicated nature of Wendy’s relationship to alcohol, her issues with being objectified, and her messed up sleep habits (having dreams of being chased, having a ***** even tho she had bottom surgery 3 years ago, or getting violent with potential lovers) this book said “you’re messy? You’re okay, don’t forget it ❤️” Chapter 25 being shown in vignettes is so perfect because it shows how the days flow in and out for Wendy. I read all of this book today! Like I finished Rubyfruit jungle this morning and started it AND HOLY **** IT WAS SO AMAZING!!! It’s always good to follow up a **** book with something like Little Fish. Casey is amazing! 💐 "

"I do!!"

"great."