A Blue So Dark

"Quick easy read with an interesting story. Very descriptive writing. I just hope it's a somewhat accurate representation of schizophrenia. "

"“Because that's what mental illness does. It takes something beautiful and fragile and perfect, and smashes it into a thousand unrecognizable parts.”<br/>————————————————————————<br/>“I've seen madness up close, twice, you know," she says softly. "It doesn't have you."<br/>⭐️ 2.5 ⭐️<br/>I really thought I would end up rating this book much higher than I did. Hard-hitting YA is usually one of my favorite genres, and because this was about mental health (a topic I think is so important and deserves more representation and discussion) I figured it would be right up my alley. In particular, I haven’t read many books about schizophrenia and so I was very intrigued and excited as I think it is a subject that deserves way more attention and normalization. Unfortunately, this book just simply had way too many flaws for me and I was quite frustrated and disappointed by my overall reading experience. I applaud the author for writing about and attempting to promote discussion about such an underrepresented topic, however, I feel like she made a lot of poor choices that really held this novel back from being as amazing as it really had the potential to be. Firstly, and most hard to overlook, was the use of outright derogatory and harmful language. The main character often uses the r-word, relentlessly tears apart others’ appearances, makes odd and uncomfortable references to Columbine, and just straight up uses harmful language about mental illness as a whole such as looney bin, schizo, freak, etc. I really thought as the daughter of someone suffering from such a debilitating condition, Aura would have way more sympathy, understanding, and empathy. However, she is incredibly selfish, judgmental, and just plain mean. Her character as a whole was one of the other major aspects of this book that was hard to get passed. She frequently belittles others and acts as though she is the only possible person who has problems. I understand what her mother was going through was difficult and made her life challenging, but that doesn’t give her the right to put others down and assume they’ve got absolutely nothing of their own to struggle with. She was so quick to put others down; she frequently pointed out how she’s ‘different from other girls’ because she doesn’t care about makeup and parties and doesn’t wear dresses or more ‘feminine’ clothing, and she also was relentless about picking on people just because of their interests or their physical appearance. While she does become a bit nicer and more understanding in the end, if felt very disingenuous and as though it was only done in order to provide a ‘happy ending’ to the story. Another big issue I had was Aura’s lack of willingness to ask for help. I understand that realistically most people try to deal with things on their own and don’t always reach out, but it got to the point where Aura’s mother literally was in physical danger and she was still hesitating; it just felt a bit unrealistic and over the top at that point. The only reason I’m not giving this a lower rating is for the few positive aspects it did manage to have in spite of these other unfortunate aspects. Firstly, I truly enjoyed the representation of having to care for someone with a mental illness; the frustration, lack of sleep, worry of others finding out and judging or not understanding, trying to honor their wishes while also doing the right thing, and the overall fear in that situation were very well shown and represented. I’m glad we got to see that side of the relationship, as in YA especially we only typically get the perspective of the one with the condition, not those around and caring for the person. Another aspect I really enjoyed was Nell’s storyline. I am glad that she played such a big part in the end and was able to help Aura. Her relationship with schizophrenia was heartbreaking as it affected those she was closest to and eventually ended up taking those people away from her. It was nice to have such a strong and supportive character after having to be stuck with just Aura and her negativity for so long. In addition, the overall themes and usage of art and creativity throughout the story were incredibly well done and deeply moving. Aura’s struggle with wanting to be creative but not wanting the creativity to consume her was such an incredible storyline that really helped add substance and depth to the story. Overall, I see what the author was trying to do and I respect her for it, but I unfortunately think there are much better books on this subject out there that are less harmful and so I wouldn’t really recommend this one first."

"I love this book. My mother struggles with schizophrenia and this book hit close to home. Way to close. Had to put it down every few chapters from all the overwhelming emotions"

"@caitlin_praskovich This is the only Book of the author i have read. The book itself was good but had a lot of bad words"

"Took me several months to finally finish because it wasn't a book I could just P/u & read. It didn't captivate me from the start but I kept at it. So glad I did bc it resonated with me and my internal family struggle with mental illness. It tugged at my heart bc I saw me in Auras mom and I saw my oldest in Aura.Mental illness will tear threw a family if you let it, but it reminds you that love and memories can sometimes be trapped down deep inside and you have to find and outlet to let come out. Whether bipolar, schizo, alcoholic, depression, Addiction, ppl are still who they are deep inside, you just have to find a way to reach them."

"Learned tons about the illness of schizophrenia. Such a great read."

"It's the best book for a weekend read!"