The Bad Beginning

Dear Reader, I'm sorry to say that the book you are holding in your hands is extremely unpleasant. It tells the unhappy tale of three very unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe. In this short book alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, and cold porridge for breakfast. It is my sad duty to write down these unfortunate tales, but there is nothing stopping you from putting this book down at once and reading something happy, if you prefer that sort of thing. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket [4e de couv.]