The Great Sex Rescue

"100% recommend this book to anyone who grew up in the church. It is meant for couples but I read it as a single woman and it was super eye opening and very helpful!"

"With this second book in my list of recommended reading to help unlearn the unhealthy toxic views on sex and unlearn the toxicity of growing up with toxic purity culture, it's been even more eye-opening and helpful for me than the first book, Come As You Are.<br/><br/>When listening to and reading this book, I had to stop and go over things more than once. I also had to stop in different parts, to think and talk about things because it was a lot to wrap my head around.<br/><br/>I also have had a lot of various issues and lightbulb moments as I've been reading these books as to why I am the way I am, why I have made some choices I have, and how my self-esteem has been damaged by growing up with the toxic purity culture that was drilled into me.<br/><br/>This hasn't been the most pleasant experience to listen, read, and learn all this heavy-duty information from reading this book, but unfortunately, it has been necessary for me.<br/><br/>I feel like I've been in actual one-on-one therapy sessions when I've been reading and processing these books in this last month or so because it reminds me of when I was in very frequent therapy sessions in the past and how every time I went; I got upset or angry. I had emotional upsets and felt like someone was digging at me and my soul like someone was digging to get a splinter out of my soul that was infecting me and causing me great pain and upset in my past heavy-duty therapy some years ago. My recent/current therapy has not been as painful and annoying because of all the hard work I did in the past, but when I was listening to this book and then thinking and talking about it, I was feeling a lot of emotional upset like I hadn't in a while.<br/><br/>I have a lot of anger at certain people from my formative years with what they said or did that was toxic or how they didn't answer my questions or help me and instead made me feel like dirt. I really don't like the way certain important people in my life, especially, told me things like if I sinned or made sexual mistakes I was going to hell and that nobody was going to want a chewed-up piece of gum - ugh. See, I'm still processing here.<br/><br/>My marriage has suffered because of how I was raised, what/how I was taught, and the horrible toxic negativity portrayed to me of how dirty sex was and how bad you were if you thought or had anything to do with sexual anything. Thankfully, I married the right one for me, who has also been patient, loving, and understanding as I've had to deal with and work through these issues to help improve things for our marriage and myself with my self-esteem, etc.<br/><br/>This book brought up emotions I think I've been trying to bury or ignore and act like it was no big deal because I made an unwise choice, of course, it was my fault and I'm bad, but now I'm like you know what, it's not entirely my fault, others bear a bit of the responsibility too, I think and even then I'm not bad just because I made an unwise choice. I just made mistakes and had to learn from them like anyone else and you know what else, I'm just as good and worthy as anyone else. I'm not less than or a piece of chewed-up gum because of anything I said or did and neither is anyone else.<br/><br/>Also, one other thing, just because I or someone else makes a mistake that they have to repent and/or learn from does not mean they deserve to just have to sit and take whatever you think is fit to dish out to them because you think they're less than. We're not less than you just because you didn't have issues or make the same kinds of mistakes that we did that were of a sexual nature.<br/><br/>After reading and listening to this book and the other Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, my head has been exploding, trying to wrap my mind around things that I wish I had been taught and known when I was growing up. I'm reading and learning and processing this now because I don't want to let this negative toxic information cause me or anyone else more problems like they have in the past. I also want to be able to be better prepared and there for my daughters in the way I wish someone had been there for me."